When i am feeling rubbish i long to feel normal, however what is normal? Is my definition of normal the same as the next persons? Is normal being fully functional, is normal being happy, or is normal just not feeling like shit? There are times when i experience all 3 and still wouldn’t define myself as feeling normal. I can be fully functional, happy as can be and ready to take on the world. I feel so self assured, confident in my ability and have the most amazing of ideas. It is a wonderful feeling and a side of me i think people much prefer. I seem so in control of myself and way more outgoing and sociable than i know i truly am.
It is however far from being in control. Although i become highly functioning, my mind starts going way faster than i can handle and things start to become overwhelming and its like falling and not knowing how you are going to land. The world around me seems really slow, and i know i start to get irritable and frustrated with people because they are not working to my pace. The nights that i have hardly slept because i cannot turn myself off, they begin to catch up and i soon become exhausted and just want to escape the world.
So what is normal….? To me it is calm, when the world goes at a pace where you can keep up. Normal is not boring or dull, it gives you the time and opportunity to appreciate the little things and we should never take normal for granted.