FOLED

I don’t suffer with FOMO, I suffer from FOLED – fear of letting everyone down. I never want to define myself by my Bipolar label, and I never want to use it as an excuse for not doing something. I have always said that I don’t care what people think of me but I know deep down I must because I’m scared that people will use my label against me. In a work sense I do way more than my hours because I feel I have to prove myself that little bit more. Even when the doctor signed me off, I couldn’t not work. It’s the same out of work. It’s not a control thing or the fear of missing it out, I just don’t want people to think badly of me and I don’t want to let people down.

I keep saying I feel exhausted and that the world feels relentless. I want to take a step back and have a rest, feel like I can switch off but I am scared what people will think and I’m scared going forward that somehow they will think I am no good. That’s why I just carry on………

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