**** off

My life is never not hectic, 3 young kids sees to that but there is good hectic and bad hectic. Christmas and New Year were good hectic. Full on with the kids but lots of fun and laughter made it a great couple of weeks. This week I wouldn’t say it’s a full blown wobble but it’s definitely been harder. The holiday is over but instead of going back to routine and structure it’s yet another lockdown. Initially I was so positive about this, I had learned a lot from last time and felt I would be better placed this time to handle it. This week I have found it a struggle. I’m not feeling depressed or low but don’t feel as in control as I did. Work has been hard, not because there has been loads of it but because I just don’t much want to do it. I have felt almost put out if anyone has asked me to do something or annoyed to be asked a question. I’ve had this lovely quiet time and now I feel like people are intruding on that and I haven’t liked it.

I know even when writing this, I sound like a spoiled brat and that I am the one being completely unreasonable. They are asking me to do my job, and I should, I just don’t really want to.
My complete contempt for people is not nice and isn’t who I truly am, I just need to get over myself, put my big girl pants on and get on with things.

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